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The Dance of Intimacy

  • Writer: Tracy Sii
    Tracy Sii
  • Jan 28, 2019
  • 3 min read


The Dance of intimacy can show up in all our relationships.

You may be married and finding it hard to connect at a deep level after many years of being together?

You may be in a new relationship and learning how your partner shows and receives intimacy.

You may be dating, exploring the connection of new people with a clean slate, and seeing where others and your own blocks to intimacy are.

Or you may be blissfully single enjoying time on your own delving deep into the relationship you have with yourself.


Whatever your relationship status there is an underlying Dance of intimacy playing out.


What is the Dance of Intimacy?


It is the forward and backward effort that is given and received in a relationship.

A healthy dance of intimacy flows gracefully from one to the other equally balanced.

The dance can be inbalanced though where one person gives more in a relationship. This can contribute to resentment over time and communication breakdown. Sometimes the more a person gives the more the other steps away. That then presents itself as disconnection.


Sometimes we need to ask ourselves are these types of relationships worth pouring in so much time and energy when we receive very little back?


At times it becomes a repeated pattern that we continue to attract into our lives. These patterns are not fun to relive over and over again.


So what about the relationship you have with yourself. This, in fact, is the most important relationship you will ever have but the one we spend the least time nurturing.


Even though we are only one person we have many facets to who we truly are. Our Dance of Intimacy can be where we pour energy and time into aspects of ourselves that we enjoy and we reap the benefits in return. Eg. Exercise results in great fitness

Those aspects that are a little more confronting we can tend to avoid and spend little time if any. For example , our emotional self. Self love is an area so many of us neglect. Our focus goes more to others than ourselves. Self love requires a dance that goes deep within to hear the voice of your heart speak. If you don't spend time and energy here your inner world begins to lack nourishment , love and is then unable to flourish and grow.

Just like watering a plant our heart and soul needs this focus and attention.


So observe the Dance of Intimacy in all your relationships. Which ones are in a healthy flow ?

Which ones are one sided? And what is the Dance of Intimacy you have with yourself?


When we observe these it can gives us great insight to our blocks to opening up to others and being a giver and a taker. At times we are unconscious of how we respond to others or even how others perceive us. We get lazy sometimes with friends or partners that are givers and we forget to give back in return. We can take others for granted and not intentionally mean to do this. Sometimes we can realise this too late when these people step away from us as they feel unappreciated.


Observation draws our awareness of the real connections we have with ourselves and others. Take time to observe and see where your relationships are at.

Relationships can change and the dynamic between giving and taking can be repaired if you have that awareness and take action.


Bring back the flow in the Dance of Intimacy on all your relationships



 
 
 

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